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Articles by Ivan Chavez

Slow-Moving Spider Can No Longer Be Ignored

February 27, 2018 Ivan Chavez 0

LOS ANGELES — Area woman Susan Williams realized that she could no longer ignore the slow-moving arachnid on her bedroom wall on Tuesday afternoon. “Usually, […]

Nut Allergy Nothing Compared To Embarrassment Of Complaining At Restaurant

November 27, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

WESTWOOD — During a family night out, it came to the attention of area woman Leslie Simmons that the shame and public humiliation of complaining […]

Employee Begins To Feel Kinship With New Name Boss Gave Him

November 18, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

LOS ANGELES — In a turn of events, junior managerial assistant Matthew Stevenson began to feel a kinship with the new name his boss had […]

North Campus To Replace All Clocks With More Aesthetically Pleasing Sundials

October 29, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

Apple Announces Plans To Only Play Upbeat Music In Sweatshops

October 29, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

CUPERTINO — This week Apple, in keeping with tradition of ceremonial pomp, held a massive event unveiling their plans to play non-stop pop music for […]

Student At Front Of The Restaurant Line Rolls The Dice With Debit Card

October 29, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

WESTWOOD — Ignoring his misgivings about the possible lack of necessary funds on his debit card, third-year Economics major Andrew Clay, decided to roll the […]

Edgy Kid In Philosophy Discussion Insists On Giving Genocidal Rhetoric “A Chance”

October 29, 2017 Ivan Chavez 0

WESTWOOD — Starting off the new academic year strong, edgy third-year Jacob Shaw explained to his discussion section why they should all give the genocidal […]

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