Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend
Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]
relationships
“No More Mr. Nice Guy!” Says Man Who Never Respected You To Begin With
WESTWOOD — The planet as we know it was shaken to its core today when local Mr. Nice Guy Neil Belmont officially renounced his title. […]
4 Out Of 5 Dentists Say You Should Break Up
CAMBRIDGE — A recent study done by MIT analysts has found that four out of five dentists say you should break up with your good-for-nothing […]
How To Know If Your Boyfriend Is Inbred
Dating is a scary activity. One minute, you and your boyfriend are laughing around the dinner table. But what’s that? Uh oh! His jaw. Is […]
Optimistic Area Man Thinks He’ll Get The Friends In Breakup
SACRAMENTO — Local man and former girlfriend-haver James Jobs shocked acquaintances and family on Friday with his announcement that he will retain his and his […]
Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older
WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]
Daddy LongLegs Divorces Mommy LongLegs
ITSY BITSY WEB, CA — After almost four months of marriage, Daddy LongLegs is filing for divorce, citing Mommy LongLegs’ condescending tone and her attempts […]