Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older

WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date first-years who are legal adults. “With so many babes to choose from, it’s overwhelming, so I gotta give myself some restrictions,” said Winfrey, glancing at a group of girls dressed as cats in neon colors. “But I do consider myself a feminist,, and I can say confidently I would never date a frosh younger than 18. The dudes agree that would not be cool.” At press time, Winfrey was seen yelling to groups of partygoers from his balcony, asking to see a vertical ID.

About Max Flora 30 Articles
Maxwell "Rough n Tumble" "Go Buy Me Some Vegan Snacks" Geronimo "Geronimo" Flora wastes a lot of time on this publication.