Alternative Club Throws “Groundbreaking” Event That Breaks No New Ground
WESTWOOD — Tonight, one campus alternative club will host a parking lot rave that will break boundaries by having the same exact attractions as last […]
Party
I Lived It: The Corner I Was Going To Stand In At The Party Got Taken
As a Mysterious Fella, it’s important for me to have a nice corner to stand in at parties. There’s really nothing like holding a clammy […]
Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager
WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]
Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method
WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]
Uh-oh! You Did Your Makeup So Weird The Nice Girls Are Complimenting Your Unstyled Hair Instead
WESTWOOD — Reporting live from a packed Roebling backyard, the Enabler can confirm you did your makeup so weird that the nice girls are complimenting […]
Students, Demons Look Forward To Halloweekend
WESTWOOD — As the three day partying event known colloquially as “Halloweekend” approaches, students and the demonic creatures that lurk in the back of their […]
Frats Denounce COVID, Promise It Won’t Happen Again
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s Greek organizations released a statement Monday acknowledging allegations that they have contributed to the spread of COVID-19 on campus. “Everybody makes mistakes, […]
Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older
WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]
Area Man Enters Hour Three of Describing Music Taste
WESTWOOD — Third-year film student Doug Babcock has been filibustering a real conversation for three hours now, after an acquaintance made the mistake of asking […]
Senate Democrats Plan To Prevent Barrett Confirmation By Sternly Frowning
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference Wednesday, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer unveiled the Democrats’ strategy to prevent Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation by […]