Uggo Alert! TA Not Hot Enough To Justify Attendance
WESTWOOD — UCLA student Brad Eckel-Honesty decided against regularly attending discussion this quarter after his TA was revealed to be a full-on uggo. “Looking at […]
Gene Block Joins Cast Of “Barbie” (2023)
MALIBU— UCLA students were starstruck on Tuesday when they saw Westwood’s own Gene Block in the trailer for the highly-anticipated film “Barbie” (2023). “Gene joined […]
“This Is Gonna Be My Quarter Fr,” Says Alumnus
WESTWOOD — Spring quarter began yesterday, and no one is more excited than the graduated Bruins still lingering around campus. “Man, I can’t wait to […]
BFIT Regulars Speak Out: You Really Thought We Weren’t Judging You?
BFIT — Second-year physiological science major Cardy O’Lover spoke to the Enabler last week after her 6 a.m. 10-mile sprint on the eco-friendly treadmill, and […]
Bruin Walk Empty, Bruin Bear Sheds Single Tear
BRUIN PLAZA — The moon shone brightly on Bruin Walk, illuminating a broody, steeping fog of silence up and down the bricks and leaves on […]
Weird! This Woman Has Legs For Days
ISLE OF MAN — Sources report that local woman Amy Fuller has got a real pair of stems on her. “I’ve seen a leg or […]
Opinion: Science Is Fake! The Same Water That “Carved The Grand Canyon” Can’t Flush My Poop Down This Toilet
We’ve all sat through the same boring eighth grade science class where they teach you about “erosion.” They say water flowed through some rocks and […]
L.A. Zoo Goes Climate Friendly, Announces “Planteater”
LOS ANGELES ZOO— In an attempt to reduce the human (and animal) impact on the climate and focus on sustainable energy, scientists at the Los […]
CBS Greenlights Young Young Sheldon
NEW YORK— CBS announced this morning the development of a spin-off of the hit spin-off “Young Sheldon,” to be titled “Young Young Sheldon.” “You spent […]