L.A. Zoo Goes Climate Friendly, Announces “Planteater”

LOS ANGELES ZOO— In an attempt to reduce the human (and animal) impact on the climate and focus on sustainable energy, scientists at the Los Angeles Zoo are ready to announce that they have finally GMO’d into existence their newest animal: the Planteater™. “It’s just like an anteater, but instead of ants, it eats plants! Isn’t that super MEAT. Haha! Get it! It’s supposed to be ‘neat!’ Oh, and it is the world’s first fully vegan animal, set to phase out all non-vegan Anteaters by 2025,” explained Layne Forests, LA Zoo TikTok brand ambassador, stepping out of her beloved Chevy SUV and into her favorite Shell gas station parking lot. “Oh! And, also, it’s a GREAT new spot for a climate-friendly Instagram photo! Next week we will begin the first round of non-vegan anteater removal.” At press time, advertisements for the Planteater™ Plant and Climate Change Extravaganza™ were being posted up by the “Anteater Paradise” sign in front of an eerily empty animal enclosure.