Op-Ed: I Don’t See Color, I Have a Serious Disability
It’s been all over the news lately – #BlackLivesMatter, #BlueLivesMatter, #WhiteLivesMatterToo. People are arguing left and right that they don’t see color, or that color […]
Student Still Thinks Next Quarter Will Be Better
WESTWOOD — Despite years of experience suggesting otherwise, third year political science major Gianna Palos still thinks next quarter will be better. “I’m really going […]
Student Unsure Which Profession She Wants To Grow To Hate Over Next 40 Years
WESTWOOD—Overwhelmed by the excessive quantity of tedious and inconsequential career paths available to her, biology major Yasmine Adar announced she was unsure what profession she […]
Weak, Lazy Pre-Med Prioritizes Sleep
WESTWOOD–In a statement released last Thursday, second year physiological science major, Jonathan Michaelson, confirmed that he does indeed value sleep more than some academic endeavors. […]
Local Homeless Man Now Takes Venmo
WESTWOOD—Local homeless man Rusty, on the corner of Westwood and Weyburn, has announced that he will now be accepting donations through the Venmo application. “People […]
Rock Bottom Student Grudgingly Joins Christian Fellowship
WESTWOOD—Surrendering himself to a life of chipper pamphlet distribution, Biology major Alex Kim reportedly joined a Christian fellowship group on campus after being seduced by […]
Exciting News: Hovering Over Public Toilets Proves To Be Most Effective Ab Workout
BEVERLY HILLS – A recent study has revealed that the most practical way to work out your abs is by hovering over public toilets. “Whenever […]
Classmate Somehow Always Surprised When His Turn To Talk In Circle
WESTWOOD—Sources confirm that second-year fine arts student Brett Phillips is somehow always surprised when it’s his turn to participate in class conversations that follow sequential […]
Area Man Worried Waiter Should Have Written Down Order
LOS ANGELES—While dining at a local restaurant with several friends on Monday, area man Greg Johnson became increasingly worried when the waiter did not write […]
Point: BU is Stinky/Counterpoint: All the Independents Have Cooties
Point: BU is Stinky by Ashley Jacobson (Independent) Bruins United is stinky! I mean, look at those guys! They all share the same values and […]