Report: One-Year-Old Water Bottle Still Not Washed
WESTWOOD—Earlier this week, sources confirmed that third year Environmental Science major Elizabeth Maxwell hasn’t washed her reusable water bottle since she bought it last year. […]
Articles by Jessica Waite
Man Unaware Spooky Skeleton Inside Him
RICHMOND, VA—According to his friends, local man Steve Crandall is currently unaware there is a spooky skeleton not-so-deep inside of him. “Steve made a joke […]
Report: This D&D Campaign Is Off to a Wild Start
WESTWOOD—Gathered around a pile of spellbooks and props, fourth year Melanie Rodriguez eagerly rolled the dice on a new Dungeons and Dragons campaign. “God, we […]
Op-Ed: I Don’t See Color, I Have a Serious Disability
It’s been all over the news lately – #BlackLivesMatter, #BlueLivesMatter, #WhiteLivesMatterToo. People are arguing left and right that they don’t see color, or that color […]
Point: BU is Stinky/Counterpoint: All the Independents Have Cooties
Point: BU is Stinky by Ashley Jacobson (Independent) Bruins United is stinky! I mean, look at those guys! They all share the same values and […]
Op-Ed: Cynthia, We’re Done, Please Drop 14C So I Don’t Have To
Cynthia, we’re done. I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry we broke up, but we had to. It really wasn’t working out. We’ve sorted our stuff […]
Report: Dog Racist
LOS GATOS, CA—Local dog owner Elizabeth Juarez was stunned to learn her dog, an Australian Shepherd named Sandwich, is racist. “At first I thought he […]
Op-Ed: I Went to the Career Fair and All I Got Was This Sunburn
Ah, the career fair. Such fun! Such wonder! Like many other students, I woke up early, got dressed up in a business casual sleeveless […]
Mom Wants To Know What Ever Happened To Jonathan From High School
OXNARD, CA—Sources report that earlier this week, your mom wanted to know what ever happened to Jonathan from high school. “He was such a nice […]
Op-Ed: Thanks for the Fat Neck, Mom
Dear Mom, Thanks, I guess. Thanks for the fat neck. I really appreciate that out of all the things I could have inherited from you […]