WESTWOOD—Surrendering himself to a life of chipper pamphlet distribution, Biology major Alex Kim reportedly joined a Christian fellowship group on campus after being seduced by promises of friendship, free food, and some form of vague eternal salvation. “I wasn’t really fitting in anywhere on campus. I had been rejected nearly everywhere else,” said Alex resignedly, “so—after a few friendless months—I gave in and joined a Christian fellowship group,” adding that he had difficulties choosing between the Korean Campus Crusade for Christ, 4Corners Christian Fellowship, Immanuel Community Fellowship, Korean Bible Study, Korean Christian Association, Korean Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Korean American Campus Mission, The Light Korean Campus Ministry, Asian American Christian Fellowship, Light of Life Campus Ministries (formerly The Awakening), Bruin in Christ Alone Ministry, Agape Christian Fellowship, and about 30 other similar groups active on campus. “Since I’ve joined my fellowship group, the Korean Intervarsity Alliance for Jesus, I never have to go anywhere alone—my brothers and sisters in Christ have my back! God willing, I’ll be able to get my first bible soon and figure out what this whole Jesus thing is about, if it praises him; but first is the ice cream social at John’s Ice Cream where, if heaven allows it, I can meet even more people seemingly compelled to be nice to me! Hallelujah!” Come newshour, Alex was standing before a glass case containing cruciform pendants, conflicted about which one Julia, the club’s Vice President, would like to see him wear while handing out fliers on bruin walk later that day.
About Nathan Grovhoug
26 Articles
Nathan is an exquisite writer and talented author. His writing is good too. He raised horses on the Iberian peninsula for 14 years, until a fallen nun named Rosina stole his herd, and his heart. They tried to reconcile during a chance meeting in Rotterdam 7 years later, but their love had been cast away, just like waking memories of a bitter autumn.