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Articles by Salma Zaky

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About Salma Zaky
Salma is a comediENNE and professional female. You can catch her having her period, writing jokes about her period, talking about her period, and being a woman.

Class Clown Hides In Sewers To Tell Jokes

October 29, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA second year and Pennywise wannabe, George Rogers, was found this morning coated in feces, peering through a sewer telling popsicle-stick jokes to […]

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Selfless Area Woman Looks At Friends In Group Picture Too

May 21, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

LOS ANGELES, CA—Area woman Nicole Robinson always makes sure to look at her friends’ faces in a group picture, because that’s how her mother raised […]

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I Never Fucking Agreed To This

May 21, 2017 Powell Cat 0

Get the fuck away from me. I’m a cat. A black cat. Humans aren’t supposed to get near us, let alone fucking touch us. I […]

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Professor Receives Roar of Laughter During Lecture, Pursues Stand Up Comedy

May 21, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

WESTWOOD—UCLA Chemistry professor Thomas Osborne, is retiring to further develop his one-man act after cracking a single periodic table joke during class and receiving a […]

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Op-Ed: I Could Be Instagram Famous If I Tried

May 21, 2017 Designated Ugly Fat Friend 0

My friends tell me I’m the “Roseanne” of the friend group. They say it’s because of my sense of humor, but I know it’s really […]

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Exciting News: Hovering Over Public Toilets Proves To Be Most Effective Ab Workout

April 30, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

BEVERLY HILLS – A recent study has revealed that the most practical way to work out your abs is by hovering over public toilets. “Whenever […]

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College Student Wakes Up Early, Finds Out There Are More Hours In A Day

April 30, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

WESTWOOD—UCLA student James Lips set his alarm for the first time during his college career and found that, surprisingly, there are more hours in a […]

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Peeping Tom Catches Girl Shitting, Becomes Priest

April 30, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

LOS ANGELES, CA—The neighborhood “peeping tom,” Ernest Douglas, has bravely decided to change his lifestyle and become a priest after witnessing a woman violently shitting […]

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