WESTWOOD — After an unprecedented week of sporadic rain across Los Angeles county, first year UCLA student Dustin Foster controversially declared to his distracted roommate […]
MENLO PARK — Recent reports assert that the Devil, known under a plethora of different names including Mephistopheles, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Satan, Taco Bell, etc… is happy with […]
WESTWOOD — In a totally Virgo move, third-year English major Alison Wong dropped her religious studies course after discovering her professor was a triple water sign. “I’m […]
BAKERSFIELD — Glancing at the “Food: Exit 25” sign on the side of CA State Route 99, area father and Carlson family patriarch Neal Carlson reminded his […]
WESTWOOD — Red Bull Campus Ambassador Colin Greene was seen lingering an appropriate fifteen feet outside of the UCLA LGBTQ Center, contemplating whether he should enter the […]
WESTWOOD — After nearly 60 years of steadily declining cigarette usage in the United States, a a study conducted by the UCLA Department of Sociology has confirmed […]
WESTWOOD, 10:07 a.m. — Westwood Enabler reporters have obtained disturbing reports from campus administration that a professor has entered the Boelter Hall amphitheatre with a […]
WESTWOOD — Contrary to all laws of nature and common sense, it is still raining in Los Angeles. Pamela Hauser, 1st year English major and […]
Point: Marijuana Is A Gateway Drug That Leads To Lethargy And Memory Loss By: Lucas Thompson Marijuana is classified as a Schedule 1 drug and has […]
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