Opinion: I Need To Fuck Someone With A Scooter
Look, I’m over it. UCLA is basically an Olympic endurance course disguised as an academic institution. From walking up Bruin Walk to climbing the Death […]
Opinion
Opinion: Election Day Is Less Exciting Now That I’m Not In Eighth-Grade History Class
Picture this: It’s 2016, Harambe just died, an app called Musical.ly was taking the world by storm, and there’s one thing that everyone is asking: […]
Opinion: Athletes Should Only Ride Scooters If Their Team Has Won A Championship In The Past 10 Years
You blink and they appear: a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 monster hurtling toward you with an empty, dog tagged backpack at 45 miles an […]
Opinion: Week Two Is Over, I Can Finally Drop The Mask And Start Skipping Classes
Well, it’s finally here. Week Two. I attended just enough class to know which professor is serious about attendance policies. I’ve dropped all my 8 […]
OPINION: Lol Did You Hear The News? This Is Crazy. Anyways Wyd Tonite? ;)
Hey I know this is super random lol but did you hear about Biden stepping down? It’s so crazy this is all happening. I really […]
Opinion: Final Exams Are Biased Against People With Tiny Bladders And Rectums
Yes, I’m a human. Yes, I pee and poo and shit and even fart. So why is this being held against me when it comes […]
Opinion: Hinge Isn’t Working. It’s Time To Start Fucking My Friends
Dating apps are difficult. Yeah, I said it. “Heyyyyy haha! I also like cats! Lolz!” “WYD” “Taking a shower? Without me?” And I get nothing. […]
Opinion: EEEEEEEK!
GEt it off Get it off! I thINK it BIT ME!!!! All I did was make the squeaky noise so it would look at me, […]
Opinion: Being A DJ Was Too Hard, See You In Class
When I first got in the studio, I thought I was set for life. No more MyUCLA, no more Death Stairs to climb, no more […]
Opinion: Today, Of All Days, We Should Be Serious.
I get it. We all love April Fool’s day; we all like to have a little chuckle. We’ve got some reeeaal jokesters among us. But […]