New Kid Doesn’t Have Any Obvious Flaws To Pick Apart, Says School Bully
SANTA MONICA—Sources reported that local high school bully Sam Daniels was overheard this past Friday expressing his disappointment over the new kid having no obvious […]
SANTA MONICA—Sources reported that local high school bully Sam Daniels was overheard this past Friday expressing his disappointment over the new kid having no obvious […]
WESTWOOD — Nearly 87% of children attending middle school in L.A. are currently standing around in Ackerman A-Level, according to a recent study conducted by […]
What’s all this outcry about me leaking classified info to the Russians? Believe me, I know a lot of people and none of them are […]
Point: USAC Is An Essential Part of Student Representation By: Janice Miller The Undergraduate Student Association Council serves UCLA through creating programs and passing […]
Many have asked and many have conjectured – what does USAC truly stand for? It is a question we mouth whenever we are forced to […]
WASHINGTON–The White House announced in a press release this Tuesday that President Donald J. Trump has terminated one of the most prominent and influential supporters […]
Dear American People, I have received many angry letters, body parts, and obscene photographs in the mail recently, and I find that very disappointing. The […]
RICHMOND, VA—According to his friends, local man Steve Crandall is currently unaware there is a spooky skeleton not-so-deep inside of him. “Steve made a joke […]
WESTWOOD–Health-conscious sorority member Sabrina Templin was reportedly seen at 2 A.M. Saturday morning, curled up onto the feces-stained tile of a fraternity bathroom floor, violently […]
WESTWOOD–UCLA students confirmed this past week that local hookah bar Habubu Cafe is most definitely a front for an ambiguous black-market industry. “It’s like, never […]
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