Study: 87% Of LA Middle Schoolers Currently In Ackerman A-Level

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Researchers gathered data by observing over 50,000 middle schoolers who showed up in the background of what would have otherwise been a nice grad photo.

WESTWOOD—Nearly 87% of children attending middle school in L.A. are currently standing around in Ackerman A-Level, according to a recent study conducted by the Los Angeles Unified School District. “Our data suggests that there are an estimated 115,196 middle schoolers currently waiting in line at Taco Bell, looking for their friends in the bathroom, or yelling ‘MISS?’ at some teacher or chaperone who is nowhere to be found,” said LAUSD spokesperson Aracely Diaz, shouting her statement over a flood of children blocking off the hallway near Jamba Juice. “The study also suggests that there will be around 7,230 middle schoolers learning the 8-Clap at the top of Janss Steps right when you really need to squeeze by to make it to your discussion section in Haines.” At press time, a horde of middle schoolers was painstakingly counting out exact change to pay for their food at Carl’s Jr.