Op-Ed: Leaking Classified Information Is Only A Big Deal If It’s Emails

By , in Opinion Politics on .

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What’s all this outcry about me leaking classified info to the Russians? Believe me, I know a lot of people and none of them are talking about it. But the mainstream media is reporting on it all day long so I thought I’d just clear things up. I did indeed leak some classified informations to the Russians. But it wasn’t in an email, so it was okay. It’s a totally different situation from Hillary’s emails, you know. It’s a tremendous difference. A huge difference.

Difference number one – emails are in written word and you can look at them whenever you want. Spoken words have to be stored in your memory and that’s not very easy. I don’t think the Russians even remembered, and neither did I, until the media started bringing it up. And nobody remembers things like I do. Believe me. Difference number two is obviously that emails are on computers. My son, he’s very good at the cyber – you should see him with a computer. Fantastic at computers. I’ve known a lot of cyber guys, and my son is the best. Ten years old!

Anyway, with the computers, there are servers and cyber and the hacking. And the hacking, you know, it’s a terrible thing. Hillary and the DNC were hacked because they weren’t as good at the cyber as we were. Nobody knows cyber like me! To be frank, that makes emails bad. Also, difference three is Hillary is a woman. Her emotions probably clouded her judgment and made her leak information in a feminine way. Kind of like, well, I didn’t say that, but you know what I mean. She’s not like me. I make big decisions with logic, not menopause. My decision to leak was carefully planned out and calculated. Definitely not a spur of the moment attempt to impress Russians. Nobody leaks like Trump.

To cap things off, I really don’t know what the big deal is. Nobody cares when Democrats leak classified information. I mean, except the House. And the Senate. And Alex Jones. And me. But the media doesn’t! And frankly, frankly I’ve been treated very poorly by the media. Very poorly. Nobody’s been treated worse than me. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go back to Making America Great Again. At Mar-a-Lago. Buh bye!