Discussion Section Evolves Into Orgy
WESTWOOD – Third-year John Smith was aroused and afraid when his HIST 13B discussion devolved into an orgy. “I didn’t want to lose participation points, […]
8-Person Gayley Heights Apartments Revealed To Be Elaborate Social Experiment
WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, Dr. Philip Styles of the UCLA Psychology Department revealed to a small cohort of graduate students that creating 8-person apartments in […]
Meet Cute? These Two Campus Tour Guides Walked Backwards Into Each Other
WESTWOOD — Love was in the air Wednesday morning as Julia Benson and Sam Hernandez walked backwards into each other while leading campus tours. “That’s […]
“Heyy Girly!! Do You Mind If I Use Your First Aid Kit?” Asks Roommate Bleeding To Death
WESTWOOD — Third-year physics major Annabel Brown texted her roommate asking for permission to use her first aid kit Thursday, as she lay bleeding to […]
Freshman Confident Week Zero Friendships Will Last
WESTWOOD — Two weeks into her freshman year, Sarah Miller is confident she has met lifelong companions. “We all just don’t like drama,” said Miller, […]
Gene Block To Be Sent To Farm Upstate
NICE FARM IN NORCAL — The chancellor’s office announced yesterday that at the end of the 2023-24 school year, chief executive Gene Block will be […]
The Enabler Reviews: The Laptop Screen Of The Person Sitting In Front Of You In Lecture
SPOILERS AHEAD. Skip Netflix — the hottest new entertainment is the laptop screen of the person sitting in front of you in lecture. The story […]
Weird! Student Goes To Law School Without Exhausting Other Options First
WESTWOOD — For some reason, fourth-year political science major Jonas Sellout, who joined the pre-law fraternity his freshman year, hasn’t considered any other career paths […]
Who? What? Where? And 4 Other Questions To Ask
We get it. You’re a curious little fella. There’s a lot of stuff you want to know, but you just don’t know what to ask […]
Opinion: Keep Up The Scathing Course Evaluations, We Are Close
Most people see course evaluations as pointless, just another way to placate us, like the “close door” button on an elevator. I understand that perspective. […]