Weird! Student Goes To Law School Without Exhausting Other Options First

WESTWOOD — For some reason, fourth-year political science major Jonas Sellout, who joined the pre-law fraternity his freshman year, hasn’t considered any other career paths and is actually attending law school in the fall. “I’ve just never been bothered by those silly existential questions like ‘Is my career going to be morally fulfilling?’ or ‘Am I truly interested in law?’” said Sellout as his pupils turned into dollar signs and a cash register sounded in the background. “I did mock trial in middle school, so I know that lawyers get called ‘esquire,’ which is super cool, and that I’ll get to carry a briefcase. I can’t wait!” At press time, Sellout had applied for an internship with Corporate Lawyers Against Employee Rights, LLP.

About Gillian Smith 50 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.