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Project 2025 Announces “Pussylight Savings Time” Forcing Women To Set Back Their Menstrual Cycle Each Fall

November 10, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Washington, D.C. — Project 2025 has added an innovative new pillar of conservatism to reclaim our nation: “Pussylight Savings Time,” which will forcibly set every […]

Project 2025 Announces “Pussylight Savings Time” Forcing Women To Set Back Their Menstrual Cycle Each Fall

November 9, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Washington, D.C. —  Project 2025 has added an innovative new pillar of conservatism to reclaim our nation: “Pussylight Savings Time,” which will forcibly set every […]

Democrat Who Confused Tuesday And Thursday Cost Kamala Harris The Election

November 7, 2024 Paige Reed 0

Opinion: Election Day Is Less Exciting Now That I’m Not In Eighth-Grade History Class

November 5, 2024 Sophie Criver 0

Picture this: It’s 2016, Harambe just died, an app called Musical.ly was taking the world by storm, and there’s one thing that everyone is asking: […]

Swing Voter Reports: Wheeee!

November 5, 2024 Shayne Sweet 0

The Westwood Enabler Endorses Joe Biden For President

November 4, 2024 Paige Reed 0

Most presidential elections are, at their core, about two different visions of America. This one is different. This election calls into question the very existence […]

Opinion: Athletes Should Only Ride Scooters If Their Team Has Won A Championship In The Past 10 Years

November 3, 2024 Fiona Ruane 0

You blink and they appear: a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 monster hurtling toward you with an empty, dog tagged backpack at 45 miles an […]

5 Halloween Looks That Scream “This Was Meant To Be A Couple’s Costume”

November 2, 2024 Shayne Sweet 0

When people ask, “Where’s pepper?” you can laugh and say, “She got tired of me being salty all the time!” Then start crying and kill […]

Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]

Opinion: Fuhgeddaboutit

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

Posts pagination

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  • Joe Bruin Bulks Up, Grows Beard For Pride Month

    WESTWOOD — After undergoing twink death at the age of 99, beloved UCLA mascot Joe Bruin has now transformed into the bear he was meant […]

  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs

    1. Tongva Steps Nothing says “studious” like sitting on a wet, inclined plane surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of the vibrant UCLA slackline […]

  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No

    Coming out to your family can be difficult. From telling your uncle you’re bicurious to letting your little sister know you’re transgender, you never quite […]

  • “How Will This Affect Saffron And Rose?” Asks Guy Trying To Form Opinion On Iran War

    WESTWOOD — After hearing about America’s bombing of Iran, one man still could not pick a side to support until knowing the fate of local […]

  • Scientists Discover Why Old People Smell Like That

    WESTWOOD — A groundbreaking discovery was made at the UCLA Geriatric Research and Medical Association (GRAMA) this Tuesday, after an extensive study that involved locking […]

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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