UCLA Greek life is undeniably captivating. During rush, inspired, I found myself at an impasse, deciding where I would fit in to all of this. Sororities? Not enough drinking games. Frats? I’m a woman; there is no way I could join without permanently being locked in on watching my solo cup. Nevertheless, I envy the budding homoeroticism and borderline degeneracy of the brotherhood; there is something beautiful about 10 am shotgunning and pretending IPA doesn’t taste like piss.
Rest assured, my aversion to joining a sorority is not intended to put down other women or be a pick-me. Rather, it finds its origins in feeling alienated from them on the basis that most sororities are rather heterosexual.
I’ve already tried joining women’s rugby. It wasn’t enough. Ultimate girls were all already fucking each other. So I propose an alternative – a sisterhood in the style of a frat, a sanctuary for those who want floors sticky with beer and littered with used carts, walls adorned with fishing tapestry. The overall UCLA community will benefit from the creation of a female frat. No longer will our campus have a so-called “masc-shortage”, they’ll all be concentrated in one place. As a bonus, move-in each year will happen swiftly, as sisters will have u-hauls readily available.
Until a female frat Gamma Alpha Epsilon (GAE) is established, I will not rest. I will not be able to shake my pining for a commune of women who all wear backwards hats and cut muscle tees, kiss sometimes, and believe that Patrick Bateman is “literally me”.