Study Finds Earth Could Be Too Hot For Light Jackets By 2050
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a revelatory study released last week, the Environmental Protection Agency claimed that not too bad, but slightly chilly days may be […]
Science
Fossil Free UC Misunderstanding Leads To Loss Of Archaeology Department
WESTWOOD — In what is being called a “cultural tragedy,” the UCLA archaeology department was abolished last Wednesday after all of its materials were incinerated […]
1/5 Dentists Agree Flossing For Little Bitch Boys
NEW YORK — The American Dental Association released a groundbreaking study this weekend which showed that while four out of five dentists agree that daily […]
Richter Scale Objectifies Earthquakes, Claims California Advocacy Group
SAN FRANCISCO — Following a slew of recent earthquakes, a Bay Area advocacy group demanded the use of the Richter scale be discontinued due to […]
Male Scientists Close To Discovering Clitoris’ Location
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced Friday that a highly qualified team of male scientists tasked with detailing the […]
Report: Uber Drivers Sentient Beings, Can Hear Your Conversations
WESTWOOD — A new study by the Semel Institute of Neuroscience produced findings which suggest that Uber drivers are sentient beings, and can hear your […]
Study: Schrodinger’s Cat Feels Dead and Alive, Experts Diagnose Depression
BERLIN — In a groundbreaking study, a coalition of physicists and mental health experts have designated the simultaneous dead and alive condition of Schrodinger’s Cat […]