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Articles by Nathan Grovhoug

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About Nathan Grovhoug
Nathan is an exquisite writer and talented author. His writing is good too. He raised horses on the Iberian peninsula for 14 years, until a fallen nun named Rosina stole his herd, and his heart. They tried to reconcile during a chance meeting in Rotterdam 7 years later, but their love had been cast away, just like waking memories of a bitter autumn.

Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked

February 29, 2020 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]

Study: Productivity Increases 360% When Chairs Can Swivel All The Way Around

November 20, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Confidently swiveling in all directions to address her audience, project lead Angela Moriarty announced her team’s findings, which conclude that productivity increases 360% […]

Midterms Finish Just In Time For Midterms

November 6, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Bruins finally breathed a sigh of relief as midterms wrapped up this week, just in time for midterms to begin first thing next […]

Default Browser Somehow Bing Again

August 24, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — After attempting to Google-search “Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale Free Streaming 1080p,” second-year biology major Serena Tambor discovered her default browser had […]

Breaking: Professor Enters Classroom With Saxophone

January 27, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD, 10:07 a.m. — Westwood Enabler reporters have obtained disturbing reports from campus administration that a professor has entered the Boelter Hall amphitheatre with a […]

Roommate Files Petition To Open Window A Tiny Bit

November 18, 2018 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Entreating Bruin Walk commuters with the pleading look of something dying in the road, Dykstra roommate Ron Timmons this morning began his petition […]

Student Health Organization Releases The Names Of People Using Your Shampoo

November 4, 2018 Nathan Grovhoug 0

  WESTWOOD — After protracting their expected weeklong investigation to over three months, Monday morning the UCLA Student Health Organization announced the names of people […]

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Student Unsure Which Profession She Wants To Grow To Hate Over Next 40 Years

May 1, 2017 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD—Overwhelmed by the excessive quantity of tedious and inconsequential career paths available to her, biology major Yasmine Adar announced she was unsure what profession she […]

Rock Bottom Student Grudgingly Joins Christian Fellowship

April 30, 2017 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD—Surrendering himself to a life of chipper pamphlet distribution, Biology major Alex Kim reportedly joined a Christian fellowship group on campus after being seduced by […]

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TA’s Personal Fridge Full Of Strangled Pets

April 30, 2017 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD—After an anonymous student reported a brutalized parakeet toppling out of the fridge during office hours, UCPD discovered nearly a dozen strangled pets from a […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

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Georgia McNeill
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Sam Rusk
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