WESTWOOD — After a recent protest marched up to Murphy Hall, home of the office of the chancellor, Julio Frenk decided to hear out the protestors by fucking LAPD’s finest. “I wholeheartedly side with the protestors — I, too, fuck the police!” Frenk said, suspiciously slimy handcuffs in hand. “As I watched the steamy strikes from the comfort of the Ackerman Lookout, I found myself in a hypnotic-like state, chanting ‘down with uniforms!’ and ‘we will not stop, we will undress!’ Next thing I knew, I awoke sweaty, cuffed, and filled with ambition, just like my students.” At press time, Julio Frenk was seen asking police, “So what are we?”
