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A Warm Hug, And 4 Other Things UCLA Dining Will Give You For 20 Swipes

March 20, 2023 Lily Kiamanesh 0

Spring Break is almost upon us! It is finally that time of the quarter when underclassmen swap their remaining swipes for whatever is rolling around […]

GroupMe Removed From List Of Best Venues For Aspiring Stand-Up Comedians

December 19, 2022 Ella Cash 0

LOCATION — Collegiate jokesters across the nation were rocked by news that GroupMe has been removed from the L.A. Times’ list of best venues for […]

Trend Watch! These Fuckin’ Things

December 8, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

Fidget Spinners. Kendamas. Fushigi Magic Gravity Balls. These are just a few of the endless gadgets and doodads that have captivated the minds and hearts […]

Speaker On Bruinwalk To Blast “Pre-Med Pre-Health?” Every Ten Seconds

November 11, 2022 Blue Flood 0

WESTWOOD — This Monday, at the peak of rush hour on Bruinwalk, a speaker programmed to blast “Pre-med? Pre-health?” made its debut in front of […]

Girl On Self-Discovery Journey Has Yet To Discover She’s A Bitch

November 10, 2022 Ava Abrishamchian 0

LOS ANGELES — After a full two and a half months, Sarah Myers has officially returned from “Sarah’s Self-Discovery Journey,” yet she did not seem […]

Religious Scholars Discover Jesus Had a Balayage

June 23, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

VATICAN CITY — On Monday morning, the world’s leading religious scholars announced that Jesus actually had a balayage, contrary to their earlier reports that he […]

Opinion: I Heard Your Stomach Growl In Class, But I’m A Really Nice Person

June 6, 2022 Jenn Tull 0

Hi there! It’s me, the one who sits next to you in class! I just wanted to let you know that I did actually hear […]

Report! Stonehenge Only Epic Thing White People Have Ever Done

May 26, 2022 Bella Dunham 0

UNITED KINGDOM — A new report out of Exeter University claims to have proven that Stonehenge is the only epic thing to ever be done […]

Student Has A Blast At Virtual Study Abroad

May 24, 2022 Aidan Brooks 0

WESTWOOD — Due to the pandemic, second-year linguistics student Dan Gene-Attell willingly paid $20,000 to take online classes from Barcelona, Spain while remaining in his […]

Point: That’s A Cute Shirt / Counterpoint: Not With Your Boobs

May 23, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

P: That’s a cute shirt. By: Melissa Beining It’s everywhere. It follows. It can’t be categorized, yet it’s instantly recognizable. It’s inexplicable—yet, undeniable, too. Every […]

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