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Julio Frenk

Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site

May 20, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

Dear Julio Frenk, UCLA has been under a lot of controversy lately. The encampments and the mob attack on them, the cops everywhere, deportations, budget […]

Julio Frenk Takes “Fuck the Police” Seriously, Last Seen Naked In Royce Hall

May 5, 2025 Funny Marcus 0

WESTWOOD — After a recent protest marched up to Murphy Hall, home of the office of the chancellor, Julio Frenk decided to hear out the […]

Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

April 28, 2025 Azalea Morris 0

Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]

Opinion: Too Bad, AFSCME! We Are Spending Five Million Dollars On A New Quarterback

April 21, 2025 Chancellor Julio Frenk 0

Dear Bruin Community:   At UCLA, promoting the well-being of the Bruin family is our top priority. As your Chancellor, I do all kinds of […]

Intrepid Daily Bruin Reporters Find Out Julio Frenk’s Favorite Color

April 7, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — After a grueling investigation that involved bugging meeting rooms, undercover operations, and wiretapping, the Daily Bruin has made headline news announcing that they […]

Julio Frenk Fires Self In Compliance With UCLA’s New Anti-Diversity Hiring Policies

March 21, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD – This morning, Julio Frenk showed his dedication to following UCLA’s new anti-diversity hiring policies by firing himself. “When I was hired, there was […]

Julio Frenk Promises Undocumented Students He Will Do “Absolutely Nothing” To Help Them

March 5, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — After demands from the undocumented student group IDEAS for the Chancellor to meet with them, Julio Frenk has announced in a campus-wide email […]

Violence Apparently Not Allowed At UCLA

February 13, 2025 Sabrina Ellis 0

UCLA Reaffirms Commitment To Free Expression By Suspending Student Protests

February 12, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD – In a video filmed from his blue void, Chancellor Julio Frenk reaffirmed the campus’s commitment to free expression by announcing the suspension of […]

  • Companies Are Desperate For Spring Interns: Just Not You, Specifically

    WESTWOOD — Companies are searching far and wide for driven UCLA students to help out over the spring, just not you. Yeah, you. Reading this […]

  • De Neve Oyster Night Ends As Expected

    WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday night, what was supposed to be a celebratory evening with unlimited raw bivalves at the least refined dining hall ended in […]

  • See You Later, Boy: Skater Boys Replaced By “Scooter Boys”

    WESTWOOD — Folks all across campus have been saying “see you later, boy” to the skater boy, and hello to the scooter boy, who has […]

  • Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks

    WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]

  • Stolen Goods Stolen From Place With Exclusively Stolen Goods

    PARIS — Parisian police officers were stunned to discover this weekend that priceless jewels were stolen from the Louvre, a place that exclusively houses priceless […]

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
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