WASHINGTON, D.C. — Commenting on the draft eligibility of American women, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced that only the “boy lesbians” would be eligible. […]
WESTWOOD — Unease settled over the Hill last night as UCLA Housing warned of a mysterious break-in which left one student’s dorm filled with a […]
WESTWOOD — Standing at a handsome 5-foot-6, known idiot, failed Biz Econ major, and your sophomore-year Hinge match Brayden Johnson has decided to start a […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk was reportedly heard sobbing in a Fortnite Zero Build voice chat after being bullied by ELON_GETS_0_HOES, a 12-year-old in a […]
WESTWOOD — After UCPD officers swarmed Royce Hall once again yesterday to meet their daily quota of mercilessly beating up students, UCLA was awarded for […]
WESTWOOD — Uh oh! After giving your Instagram to a cute classmate, they pointed out that you’re wearing the same outfit as your profile picture. […]
1. De Neve is already De Nasty. Let’s be real here. Out of the three main dining halls, which would be the least bad to […]
1. Card Pick up the last Mother’s Day card (conveniently located next to the “#1 Grandma” cards) and don’t even sign your name inside. She’s […]
It’s a cool early summer evening. The moon is glowing, the stars are shining, and I’m taking advantage of this peaceful night by scrolling through […]
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