UniBud Now Accepting ASUCLA Meal Tickets
WESTWOOD — ASUCLA announced last Sunday that it is partnering with UniBud to bring students all of their kushy needs, now accessible via their student […]
humor
Ackerman Smoothie Robot Also Striking
ACKERMAN STUDENT UNION — In a unanimous vote, the Ackerman Beverage Kiosk Robotic Arm Union solidified plans for a strike. “I will bring UCLA to […]
On-Campus Squirrels Now Required To Purchase Meal Plan
WESTWOOD — — UCLA Dining made the controversial decision Monday to require on-campus squirrels to purchase a meal plan. “We make all the other on-campus […]
Speaker On Bruinwalk To Blast “Pre-Med Pre-Health?” Every Ten Seconds
WESTWOOD — This Monday, at the peak of rush hour on Bruinwalk, a speaker programmed to blast “Pre-med? Pre-health?” made its debut in front of […]
Mom Who Gave You Eating Disorder Has No Idea Why Everyone In Therapy These Days
LOS ANGELES — On Saturday evening, your mother who definitely gave you an eating disorder announced her disbelief at the number of your friends who […]
BREAKING: There Are Bugs Under Your Skin
WESTWOOD — The voices were right, there are bugs under your skin. “The colony of ants under your epidermis has been ignored for far too […]
‘Just Kidding!’: Leading Climate Scientists Reveal Their Funny Little Prank
NEW YORK — The world’s leading climate scientists gathered Tuesday to announce the culmination of their prank, known formally as the “Climate Crisis.” “Honestly we […]
Report: Judge Who Struck Down Mask Mandate Has A Great Smile
TAMPA — Reporters on the scene at Florida’s Middle District Federal court, where Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle recently struck down the mask mandate for public […]
Student Requesting Extension Types Transcript of Recent Therapy Session In Email
WESTWOOD — Third-year political science major Jeffrey Trabor included the transcript of his recent therapy session in an email to his TA requesting an extension. […]