BREAKING: We Have The Meats
FLAVORTOWN, USA—Sources, those sources being your mother #$&%@$@ tastebuds, man, report that fast food chain and purveyor of carnivorous atrocities Arby’s does, in fact, […]
FLAVORTOWN, USA—Sources, those sources being your mother #$&%@$@ tastebuds, man, report that fast food chain and purveyor of carnivorous atrocities Arby’s does, in fact, […]
CARNIVAL ISLAND — Caught adding poisonous gas to the air purifier systems on Carnival Island in an attempt to simulate an epidemic, area man Joseph […]
ORANGE COUNTY, CA — Sources report that area woman Fatima Gulzar was recently hit by the realization that her dog, Bailey, was cute but also […]
Point: Therapy Has Been So Good For Me. By: Hannah Stein So I finally made the leap and sought out a therapist for myself. They […]
WESTWOOD — Interrupting first-year Sarah Ahmed’s description of the role her eighth grade English teacher played in sparking her love for literature, Ahmed’s friend, first-year Aaron […]
WESTWOOD — UCLA students noted that the campus group Bruins For Israel has been pretty quiet this week following the killing of more than 60 […]
PACIFIC OCEAN — A study performed by the UCLA Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences found that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is primarily composed […]
It’s 2018. People shouldn’t have to work two full time jobs just to put food on the table for their family. We should have fair […]
WESTWOOD — Sources close to the scene report that Dave Sanders, a man who has not washed his jeans in three weeks, spent four hours […]
HOLLYWOOD — Critics’ expectations were defied this week when Avengers: Infinity War brought in more money than Amy Schumer’s I Feel Pretty. “I’m extremely surprised […]
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