White Freshman Takes Huge Risk With Ethnic-Sounding Entrée
WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, caucasian first-year Ezra Bloss got the Salvadorian pupusas at De Neve dining hall. “I’ve never felt more attacked in my life,” […]
Articles by Drew Muxlow
Seven Cute Christmas Gift Ideas Inspired by Animal Crossing
1. Crocheted Bell Bag — This gift idea is perfect for anyone who is short on cash, but has plenty of time and crocheting experience! […]
Kid In Suit Jacket Goes Entire Lecture Without Volunteering His Opinion
WESTWOOD — Early Tuesday morning, suit jacket-clad business economics-major Greg Whitfield went a full two hours in his psychology class without stating his beliefs on […]
Huge Upset: Avengers Infinity War Outperforms Amy Schumer Movie
HOLLYWOOD — Critics’ expectations were defied this week when Avengers: Infinity War brought in more money than Amy Schumer’s I Feel Pretty. “I’m extremely surprised […]
Helpful Gym Regular Corrects Newcomer’s Form
WESTWOOD — Last night at B-Fit, freshman Rodney Caldwell was reportedly using the tricep machine without properly bending his knees, but business economics major Brock […]
Bruin Democrats Add Santa Claus To List Of White Supremacists
WESTWOOD — In a club meeting this week, Bruin Democrats at UCLA unanimously agreed to add another name to their list of white supremacists: Santa […]
Hero: Man Closes Wage Gap by Going Billions of Dollars in Debt!
WESTWOOD — Who knew we had a national hero in our very own Westwood? Last Friday, Pew Research reported that the wage gap between men […]