Area Man Would Have Gotten Away With It If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids

By , in National News on .
The gang has cut short the nefarious activities of yet another mastermind.

CARNIVAL ISLAND—Caught adding poisonous gas to the air purifier systems on Carnival Island in an attempt to simulate an epidemic, area man Joseph Scarmaster, alias Knight of the Night, revealed that he would have gotten away with his evil plan if it weren’t for the actions of a group of meddling kids.

“Just as we thought. It’s the candy floss maker,” said Fred, who had reportedly split the group into smaller groups and told them where to look. “He was trying to sabotage the park so that Mr. Crundle would be fired by the Board of Directors!”

Mr. Crundle, sources report, was campaigning for an island-wide move away from candy floss as part of a health initiative that would have put Scarmaster out of business.

“Of course!” said another girl with glasses. “He was the only one who had access to the whole park because everyone loves candy floss!”

While working through the case verbally, the group soon made another discovery.

Wait a second! This man is an imposter!” said Daphne, the hot one. “The real candy floss maker we met on our first day at the carnival had blue-eyes and a goatee. Where in the world could he be hidden?”

The mystery was solved at that exact moment, when the gang’s great dane stumbled into and upturned the candy floss cart to reveal the real candy floss maker hunched over in a secret compartment. If convicted for the multiple charges laid against him, Scarmaster is looking at a minimum of 15 years, sources report. Thanks, gang!