RICHMOND, VA — A recent study commissioned by the American Arachnological Society (AAS) confirmed that an average of eight spiders crawl into a person’s mouth […]
RICHMOND, VA — After Virginia Governor Ralph Northam was accused of wearing blackface in an old yearbook photo, the embattled politician has assured an angry public that […]
WASHINGTON, DC — After Gretchen Vandermint suffered a massive heart attack when a passerby wished her a happy holiday, the War on Christmas has officially claimed […]
WESTWOOD — A study conducted by the UCLA Department of Sociology concluded that 87% of people find their soulmate at Rocco’s Tavern in Westwood. “After interviewing […]
WESTWOOD – According to multiple sources, recent “jokes” made by first-year student and fraternity member Mark Prescott about the pledging process have become strangely specific. […]
OSSINING, NY – This past Sunday the Illuminati held their annual pancake breakfast fundraiser at the Louis Engel Community Center in Ossining, NY. “We hold […]
WASHINGTON, DC — After hearing that FBI will be investigating the sexual assault allegation against him, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh drank 17 glasses of […]
DOVER, NJ — Area woman Karen Schindler informed multiple people today that her patronus was a lion, despite being unable to recall her social security […]
PACIFIC OCEAN — A study performed by the UCLA Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences found that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is primarily composed […]
WESTWOOD — Following Kanye West’s reiteration of his support for President Donald Trump on Twitter this week, Bruin Democrats at UCLA swiftly denounced the rapper’s political […]
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