UCLA’S Top Five Sexually Eligible Statues
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
john wooden
Early Hominids Clustered Around John Wooden Monolith Miraculously Discover Tool Usage, Basketball
DAWN OF MAN – Following reports that a mysterious large black monolith has encased the John Wooden statue on Bruinwalk, a local group of early […]
Struggling Men’s Basketball Team Re-Recruits Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
WESTWOOD – After UCLA Men’s basketball’s recent loss to Villanova, coach Mick Cronin has re-recruited Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in an attempt to revitalize the team. “We’re […]
John Wooden Finally Peels Off Bronze Body Paint And Leaves Pauley Pavilion
WESTWOOD—After standing motionless on a pedestal in front of Pauley Pavilion for over three years, legendary basketball coach John Wooden finally removed his bronze body […]
Powell To Be Converted Into Temple For John Wooden
WESTWOOD —The UCLA Department of Administration held a joint ad-hoc meeting last Tuesday with the Center for the Study of Religion (CSR) to discuss plans […]