At first, I was ashamed. I was mortified. For years and years I hid in the shadows. I felt… embarrassed. I was embarrassed by all […]
LOS ANGELES — In a shocking upset, FX’s “The Bear” has won this year’s Grammy Award for Song of the Year. “I don’t really know […]
BOCA RATON, FL – Ethnically ambiguous queen Ariana Grande has become white again after taking a bite of good ol’ fashioned meatloaf. “Well, golly! I […]
Movies. They’ve been around for over 100 years and have given us universally lauded classics like “The Godfather,” “Parasite,” and “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.” […]
In Chinese culture, red represents good fortune, prosperity, and vitality. So I guess my period starting fifteen minutes into a two-hour lecture today means my […]
WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday, first-year Labor Studies major Eleanor Rivera tragically passed away from starvation after her Rendezvous West chicken burrito took too long to […]
JACKSONVILLE, FL — New “boy mom” Karen Shields recently shocked her Facebook friends by announcing the birth of her terribly named son, Kyle. “When my […]
The Hilltop Shop is essential to surviving on the Hill. Need laundry detergent? Cheeto Puffs? A month-old refrigerated sandwich? You go to the Hilltop Shop. […]
BAKERSFIELD, CA — On Wednesday, serial murderer Anabel Pane, labeled the ‘Banana Peel Killer’ on social media due to her unconventional, cartoonish methods, received an […]
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