MALIBU, CA—Local white girl Lindsey Clayton totally understands where Black Lives Matter, the movement protesting police brutality against African Americans, is coming from, but she […]
WESTWOOD– Last Sunday, first year female Stacy Peters was overheard in BPlate discussing her recent date with Brian Andrews, who took her to both the […]
WESTWOOD—After being secretly stashed in the bottom drawer of first-year English student Marvin Reynold’s desk, a box of Trojan condoms is reported to already be […]
WESTWOOD—Waitress Brenda Garcia saw you look around and touch the plate she warned was very hot last night. “I see people go down the same […]
WESTWOOD — Following mass circulation of Ty Dolla $igns several weeks ago, Federal Reserve Board Chair Janet Yellen noted a significant decline in the monetary […]
LONDON—During this week’s U.S. Presidential Debate, Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor-in-chief, was put on time out. “Assange has been a very naughty naughty boy these past […]
WESTWOOD—After reading several positive reviews last Thursday, Facebook Mobile downloaded a twenty-two year old man named Tom Sidney. “With Sidney, it’s like I have my […]
WESTWOOD—Sources report that local special snowflake, Andrew Robinson, dislikes pizza. “Andrew is so unique,” Amir Ashraf, a friend of Robinson’s, said this morning. “He just […]
Face it, you are OVER the awkward tension that has formed between you and your roommate. After weeks of ignoring their judgmental glances at the […]
WESTWOOD—A recent report released by the UCLA Research Institute revealed that small joys are just not as good as bigger, better joys. “To give you […]
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