App Downloads Man

Facebook Mobile plays with Sidney, their new human.
Facebook Mobile plays with Sidney, their new human.

WESTWOOD—After reading several positive reviews last Thursday, Facebook Mobile downloaded a twenty-two year old man named Tom Sidney. “With Sidney, it’s like I have my own personal assistant. He’s voice-controlled, so all I have to do speak directly into one of two ears and tell him to start a group chat, create an event, or post a 4,000 character status about the upcoming election,” said Facebook of Sidney, the latest man from popular developer Homo sapiens. “His natural language processing technology is incredible–he even tells jokes sometimes. And only half of them are racist.” At press time, Facebook was seen configuring Sidney’s appearance settings.

About Melissa Peng 10 Articles
Melissa is an invaluable satirist and talented humor writer with the Enabler who has contributed much material, tangibly and intangibly, to reality, and surreality. Her secrets are hers to keep, I'm not about to start revealing scandalous information in a short bio, not gonna happen!! Why would you even think that? Rude.