Legal Pad User Confident In Superiority To Rest Of Class
WESTWOOD — Last week, the entire Life Science 15 lecture hall watched in admiration as first-year student Trip McCoy distinguished himself as being head-and-shoulders above the […]
Seven Cute Christmas Gift Ideas Inspired by Animal Crossing
1. Crocheted Bell Bag — This gift idea is perfect for anyone who is short on cash, but has plenty of time and crocheting experience! […]
P: Save the Bees! / CP: I’m Deathly Allergic
P: Save the Bees! By: Sasha Ellers, CALPIRG Chair Hello! Can I interest you in pledging CALPIRG to save the bees? There are millions dying […]
UCLA Housing Surprised To Learn Elevators Need Permits
WESTWOOD — The UCLA Housing administration was astonished to learn on Friday that the Hill’s elevators do, in fact, need permits. “It just completely slipped […]
BREAKING: PAC Member Joins Tours
WESTWOOD — After an extensive series of application essays and interviews, numerous Facebook posts have confirmed that this year’s cohort of UCLA Tour Guides includes […]
Study: 87% of People Find Their Soulmate at Rocco’s
WESTWOOD — A study conducted by the UCLA Department of Sociology concluded that 87% of people find their soulmate at Rocco’s Tavern in Westwood. “After interviewing […]
Vigilante Stonemason Makes Royce Hall Symmetrical
WESTWOOD – Campus tour guides were shocked last week when they reached the part of the tour at which they prompt guests to spot the […]
Apathetic Parents Lukewarm For The Return Of Their Socialist Daughter
COLUMBUS, OH — Sources report that the Loofer family is unamused with the return of their socialist daughter and would prefer if freshman Lindsay Loofer […]
Student Narrows Down Classmate’s Name To Two Possibilities
WESTWOOD — This past Tuesday, local second-year Arty McStank excitedly reported that after much deliberation, he has narrowed down his classmate’s name to approximately two […]
Frat Boy’s Jokes About Hazing Getting Weirdly Specific
WESTWOOD – According to multiple sources, recent “jokes” made by first-year student and fraternity member Mark Prescott about the pledging process have become strangely specific. […]