P: Save the Bees! / CP: I’m Deathly Allergic

P: Save the Bees!
By: Sasha Ellers, CALPIRG Chair

Hello! Can I interest you in pledging CALPIRG to save the bees? There are millions dying at an alarming rate, which has potentially devastating effects on our environment and life generally as we know it. Bees pollinate 40-60% of crops that bring us tons of our favorite foods, like chocolate, almonds, and strawberries! Yum! Join us in the effort against killing these innocent creatures to save the planet!

CP: I’m Deathly Allergic
By: Cynthia Morales

Hi, no, I would very much not like to pledge to prolong the sinister lives of the most imminent threat to my existence. Forgive me if I don’t care about your almonds and strawberries, but if I get stung by one of those fuckers, I will be the one dying at an alarming rate. So, no, I’d rather not join you in an effort to save my potential murderers. Thanks though.

About Mackenzi Elias 15 Articles
Mackenzi is 5''9 (if that matters). She doesn't go on this much so hit her up on Instagram ;)