Theater Majors And Hooligans Have “Lame-Off”
WESTWOOD — After increasing conflict between Theater majors and the HOOLIGAN Theater Company, the groups announced they would be having an interpretive battle in the […]
News
Infamous Dykstra Urinal Shitter Moves To Hedrick Hall Showers
WESTWOOD — Dykstra Hall residents braced themselves this morning, expecting the usual mound of high grade, Epicuria-produced shit sitting on top of their communal urinals, […]
Epstein Island Thanksgiving Seating Chart Only Kids’ Tables
LITTLE SAINT JAMES — The latest low-resolution document dump of the Epstein Files revealed a 2004 Thanksgiving seating chart consisting of only kids’ tables. “Some […]
Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
WESTWOOD — This Friday, the UCLA Backpacking Club announced it will be taking its advanced group on the 15-mile trek from Gardenia to the Public […]
Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel
Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]
UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]
Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree
WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]
Japanese Newborn Named Hernández Kiké
KOBE, JAPAN — In response to the wave of Latino infants being named after Japan’s cultural exports such as Goku and Roki Sasaki, Japanese sports […]
Upstairs Neighbor Bad At Sex
WESTWOOD — Early Tuesday morning, third-year biology major Cee Bat was awoken by a loud noise emanating from above her, and was forced into a […]
Hedrick Hall Residents Commanded To Find Two Of Every Animal
WESTWOOD — Following flooding at Hedrick Hall this morning, residents have been commanded to find two of every animal through a divine email mandate from […]