White Celebrity In $100,000 Dress Wins Gold Statue For Being The Best, Denounces Trump
LOS ANGELES—A white celebrity wearing a $100,000 dress got onstage at The Academy Awards where she accepted a golden statue for being the best and […]
A&E
Academy Not Racist, Has Black Friend
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Following accusations that the 2016 Academy Awards are biased against actors of color, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences confirmed […]
Local School’s Social Hierarchy in Shambles After Musical Auditions
ALBUQUERQUE—Students at a local high school burst into song as a form of protest Tuesday when it was revealed that the school’s basketball captain sang […]
Student Voices: Movie Critics Failed To Tell Me What To Think Of Interstellar
I have a bone to pick with the almighty movie critics of this world: why the hell haven’t they told me what to think of […]
A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones
HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]
Spring Sing Mix Up Leads To Choreographed Hostage Situation
WESTWOOD — The much anticipated seasonal jubilee known as Spring Sing saw an impressive number of attendants as expected yesterday evening, though the otherwise exuberant […]
Spring Sing Showdown To Be Held At Rose Bowl
WESTWOOD – In response to continuing demand for Spring Sing tickets, the UCLA Central Ticketing Office (CTO) has announced a special competition—for those who could not […]
A Guide to Cockblocking: How to Ensure No One Else Gets Laid, Either
Are you tired of watching your friends bring home a different partner after every party? Sick of being sexiled? Just plain lonely and bitter? The […]
Hammer Museum Installation Features Multiple Floors, Door Open/Door Close Buttons
WESTWOOD—With its futuristic sliding doors and innovative “moving platform”, Michael Hobart’s “Ascension” is the Hammer museum’s latest installation to test the bounds of the contemporary […]
Charlie C’s Guide to Valentine’s Day
Roses. Chocolate. Candy hearts. Men snoring while their girlfriends soak up the entire couch watching The Notebook. These are the things that we associate with […]