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Articles by Tanu Srivastava

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About Tanu Srivastava
Tanu has authored some of the Enabler's most celebrated articles, and has been a substantial talent to the writing staff. Her past is somewhat mysterious, and some say that she quite resembles the infamous cat burglar who robbed the Copenhagen Grand Jubilee of all its' prize jewels in 2014, leaving only a woman's slipper, leading police and reporters to brand her as the "Cinderella Bandit."

Student Takes Three-Hour-Long Twenty-Minute Nap

November 15, 2015 Tanu Srivastava 0

WESTWOOD — Third-year UCLA student Christine Rivera allegedly engaged in a twenty-minute nap for three hours early Wednesday evening after a stressful morning of classes. “I […]

Out-Of-State Student Thrilled by Scenic View Of LA Smog

October 27, 2015 Tanu Srivastava 0

WESTWOOD, CA — According to sources, out-of-state student Roberta Flemington is reportedly delighted that her room in Dykstra Hall overlooks the famed Los Angeles smog. […]

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Students Vow To Start Procrastinating Earlier In Quarter

May 31, 2015 Tanu Srivastava 0

WESTWOOD – After an academically disappointing  quarter, a group of second-year UCLA students has resolved to start procrastinating earlier next quarter. “Normally I don’t feel guilty […]

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Banana-Smuggling Cartel Busted At B-Plate

December 8, 2014 Tanu Srivastava 0

WESTWOOD—In a development that has left the UCLA community speechless, a banana-smuggling cartel was found early Sunday evening to be operating out of UCLA’s newest […]

Freshman Not Yet BFFs With Roommate

December 5, 2014 Tanu Srivastava 0

WESTWOOD—Julia Lin, a UCLA freshman living in a double in Hedrick Hall, admitted today that she had not yet managed to become best friends with […]

  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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