Max Flora – Page 2 – The Westwood Enabler

Trump Instructs Stimulus Package To Stand Back And Stand By

October 14, 2020 Max Flora 0

WASHINGTON — In a press conference on Tuesday, President Donald Trump instructed the proposed stimulus package– which would provide financial support to the nation in […]

Cal Develops Vaccine, Still Fails To Secure #1 Spot

October 5, 2020 Max Flora 0

BERKELEY — Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley developed a vaccine for the viral Covid-19 at 11 a.m. on Monday, and yet the university […]

Senior Who Taught You How To Do Line Admitted To Law School

September 23, 2020 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — Westley Frump, the senior who gave you your first line of cocaine in the bathroom of a house party, has reportedly been admitted […]

Man Who’d Try Anything Once Convicted Of First Degree Murder

May 18, 2020 Max Flora 0

TRENTON, NJ — Jerome McConichcachl, a twenty-two year old who would try anything once, was found guilty last Saturday of first degree murder. “I was […]

Proactive Freshman Digs Own Grave

February 20, 2020 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA freshman and self-proclaimed go-getter Laura Johnsonelli has reportedly begun arrangements for her own burial. “After I graduate med school, meet the optometrist […]

Flustered Quentin Tarantino Begins Teaching Himself Korean

February 12, 2020 Max Flora 0

HOLLYWOOD — Acclaimed film director Quentin Tarantino, after losing an Academy Award to Parasite, has reportedly begun teaching himself Korean. “I thought the Academy would […]

BREAKING: I Saw Mommy Kissing The Great Pumpkin

November 1, 2019 Max Flora 0

PUMPKIN PATCH — Last night was Halloween, and in my nine years alive, I had never before seen such haunting magic. At around 2 AM, […]

Op-Ed: Never Mind, It’s Just Another Amber Alert

October 21, 2019 Darryl Daniels 0

WESTWOOD — Oh my god, my phone’s buzzing. Do you hear that? What if it’s something important? Maybe it’s Mark calling, finally confessing his love […]