Study: Fetuses’ Chakras Visible On Ultrasound At 10 Weeks
BALTIMORE — A recent Johns Hopkins University study concluded that prenatal ultrasounds can detect fetuses’ chakras as early as ten weeks into pregnancy. “Our findings […]
BALTIMORE — A recent Johns Hopkins University study concluded that prenatal ultrasounds can detect fetuses’ chakras as early as ten weeks into pregnancy. “Our findings […]
WESTWOOD—After multiple claims that she was getting frustrated with patrons stealing things, sneaking in, and generally causing a ruckus, dining hall employee Diane Wollman confirmed […]
WESTWOOD—After years of fruitless nominations, the popular DJ of UCLA students’ favorite dining facility, Rendezvous, is finally set to receive a lifetime achievement award. “We […]
NEW YORK — Well-known performance artist Alex Jones announced today that he will be taking his conspiracy peddling radio show to Madison Square Garden with […]
UCLA has a serious problem with misleading its students. It starts when you get all those pamphlets and brochures in the mail before you even […]
WESTWOOD–Eager to quench his thirst for adrenaline, area thrillseeker Adam McGrew, a first year global studies major, jaywalked at De Neve crosswalk last Friday. “I […]
WESTWOOD—Graduating senior Danielle Rojas unknowingly made her last new friend ever when she befriended fellow student Allison Yang last Thursday. “She’s pretty chill, I guess,” […]
WESTWOOD — In the wake of graduation photo shoots, oceanographers confirm that the Shapiro Fountain near Royce Hall is now just flowing with champagne. “There’s […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of President Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw the United States from the Paris Climate Accords, area douchebag Chad Finberry […]
JERUSALEM — On May 22, one of the holiest sites of the Abrahamic religions was allegedly accosted by a visiting tourist with incredibly small hands. […]
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