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Corset Factory Employees To Unionize In Light Of Halloween

October 30, 2022 Ella Cash 0

LOS ANGELES – As Halloween nears, corset factory employees are threatening to unionize after working tirelessly for months producing the season’s most sought-after accessory: corsets. […]

Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend

October 28, 2022 Ava Allam 0

WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the […]

5 Effortless Halloween Costumes That Are Quirky, Sexy, Aesthetic, Funny, Cool, Hot, Goofy, Fun, and Chill

October 26, 2022 Mehr Juneja 0

We know how much pressure coming up with a good costume for Halloween is. This spooky season, we at the Westwood Enabler have the quirkiest, […]

UCLA Diverts Money From CAPS For New Affirmations Menu At B-Plate

October 26, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD— UCLA has diverted funds from Counseling and Psychological Services to launch a new data-driven affirmations menu at B-Plate. “When our 2019 collab with Beyonce […]

Gene Block Drops Out Of Race For Prime Minister

October 25, 2022 Bella Dunham 0

10 GAYLEY ST — UCLA Chancellor Gene Block announced Tuesday that he will be withdrawing himself from consideration as leader of the Labour Party and […]

Professor Requiring Students To Purchase Her Divorce Memoir

October 25, 2022 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — Students in Professor Carol Williams’ Chemistry class were dismayed to learn Tuesday that 75% of their grade would consist of reading quizzes on […]

Area Dog Puts Human As Last Tinder Profile Picture

October 24, 2022 Mehr Juneja 0

WESTWOOF — Local pup Daw Gee took to the streets Monday and made a Tinder for himself, making sure to put a shot of his […]

Punching Down: Short King Victims Speak Out

October 24, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

WESTWOOD — The tempers of Short Kings everywhere are at an all time medium today, as recent instances of vertically-motivated violence have given a much […]

Angry woman shouting at mirror and crying

Screaming, Crying, Throwing Up: Learn To Spot The Symptoms Of E. coli

October 21, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

WESTWOOD — The CDC is reportedly concerned that signs of E. coli are being confused with reactions by some members of the public to recent […]

Haunted House On The Hill Just Classic Triple Inhabited By Three Men

October 20, 2022 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD— In a whirlwind of festivity, the UCLA On-Campus Housing Council has decided to celebrate the spooky holiday season with their very own haunted house […]

Posts pagination

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  • Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks

    WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]

  • Stolen Goods Stolen From Place With Exclusively Stolen Goods

    PARIS — Parisian police officers were stunned to discover this weekend that priceless jewels were stolen from the Louvre, a place that exclusively houses priceless […]

  • BPlate Announces Collab With McDonald’s To Ensure Froyo Machine Breaks More Often

    WESTWOOD – In a surprise new development, BPlate has announced a partnership with the fast food chain McDonald’s to ensure that the froyo machine remains […]

  • Government Shutdown Finally Hits Canvas

    WESTWOOD — Students everywhere awoke this morning to the modern equivalent of snow outside their windows: Canvas has been shut down due to bipartisan gridlock. […]

  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You

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Georgia McNeill
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