WESTWOOD — The tempers of Short Kings everywhere are at an all time medium today, as recent instances of vertically-motivated violence have given a much needed lift to the voices of manlets everywhere. “It’s been terrible to see the recent string of head-pattings, but this is just the step stool our cause needs,” said Ernest Keebler Jr., panhellenic council chair (with booster seat) and proud five-foot-seven American. “I just hope the short princes out there aren’t afraid that someone’s going to put something where they can’t reach it as a joke.” At press time, Keebler was seen working at his job for the city, removing the lower half of graffiti.
