Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend

WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the best time out of the whole year to get crossed in a corset. But fret not! One fraternity – Lambda Mama Cri – has just announced that your mom can come to their party this Saturday. “We heard it was Parents’ Weekend, so we thought it would be sick for all the hot moms to pull up,” said Chad Pusakiss, Yung Gravy fan and chapter president, as he hung an “I Love MILFs” banner outside the house. “We’re really sorry, but unless your dad’s on the list he can’t come. Rules are rules, you know.” At press time, Pusakiss was seen on the phone with his mother, desperately gaslighting her into believing that Parents’ Weekend is actually next week.