De Neve Late Night Reopens With Mandatory Breathalyzer Test
WESTWOOD — Beloved dining hall De Neve is set to reopen its Late Night menu with more pizza, flatter soda, and a lot less fun […]
Second-Year Still Recovering From Epic Hometown Spring Break
WESTWOOD — Second-year Creative Writing major Sue Perr-Wilde is still in recovery from her epic spring break adventure where she re-explored her hometown grocery stores, […]
Meant To Be: The Cruel And Beautiful Strings Of Fate Have Caused Our Paths To Cross On This Four-Way Crosswalk
Hello again, stranger. It’s funny, isn’t it? How life works. Despite meeting mere moments ago, our bodies are now locked in an ancient ritual, performing […]
Angry Men’s Rights Activist Creates Boy Scout Cookies
WESTWOOD — Men’s rights activist Brett Chadley has created “Boy Scout Cookies” after noticing that male children are marginalized in the cookie sales industry. “These […]
Biz Econ Major Excited To Commit White-Collar Crimes
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year business economics major Bordan Jelfort announced today that after years of experience in petty crime, he now intends to pursue a fruitful […]
Carrot Man Eaten By Easter Bunny, Rises Again Three Days Later
WESTWOOD — After being eaten by the Easter Bunny on Sunday, Westwood icon Carrot Man rose again three days later with an even larger carrot […]
Inspiring! Octopus Finally Isn’t The Drummer In This Undersea Band
UNDER THE SEA — Breaking 500 million years of evolution and tradition, Squillie Cephalopod will be making history by taking the stage at Conchshella Weekend […]
Opinion: Being A DJ Was Too Hard, See You In Class
When I first got in the studio, I thought I was set for life. No more MyUCLA, no more Death Stairs to climb, no more […]
Opinion: Today, Of All Days, We Should Be Serious.
I get it. We all love April Fool’s day; we all like to have a little chuckle. We’ve got some reeeaal jokesters among us. But […]