WESTWOOD—Sources at the University of California, Los Angeles confirmed that History of Modern Freeways teaching assistant and PhD student Caroline Gates thanked her students for […]
WESTWOOD—Members of the Undergraduate Students Associated Council (USAC) — the country’s foremost middle-eastern foreign policy experts — announced earlier today that they had successfully negotiated […]
WESTWOOD–Sources have recently confirmed that the favorite Muppet of Ian O’Neill, a local weirdo, isn’t Beaker. “Beaker’s alright, but no way is he my favorite,” […]
WESTWOOD–A new study conducted at UCLA has found that the average person takes at least three months to get over a failed relationship, Debbie, you […]
LOS ANGELES–On its way to Chicago O’Hare, a sixteen-ounce bottle of Dasani purified water was abandoned by its owner outside LAX airport security. The water […]
WESTWOOD–Despite having an unhappy childhood, local man Stephen Hopkins, 34, is still a mediocre artist. “My parents and I moved around a lot, never really […]
Well, look at this. We happened to run into each other as we’re both walking to class! You know, the one that I teach and […]
WESTWOOD – Local man Steven O’Brien wants to know if you’ve watched Arrested Development. “Have you seen it? I just started watching it and it’s […]
WESTWOOD–After only selling three potato balls in one hour, an unnamed club offering Porto’s baked goods on Bruinwalk has begun to sympathize with the homophobe […]
I’ve heard all the complaints a million times: “God, when will Adam Sandler stop making movies?,” “I just wish Sandler would go away. He’s not […]
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