Local Man Mediocre Artist Despite Unhappy Childhood


WESTWOOD–Despite having an unhappy childhood, local man Stephen Hopkins, 34, is still a mediocre artist. “My parents and I moved around a lot, never really staying in one place, so I never got the opportunity to develop lasting and meaningful relationships with friends,” said Hopkins, whose most recent artwork is an abstract painting that is derivative and rather trite. “Dad wasn’t home very much, so it was usually just me and Mom, who would cry a lot,” Hopkins stated. At press time, Hopkins began work on what already appears to be a tawdry faux-Impressionist piece about the death of his favorite pet.