Mostly-Full Water Bottles Neglected in Prime Of Lives At Airport Security

Those poor water bottles!

LOS ANGELES–On its way to Chicago O’Hare, a sixteen-ounce bottle of Dasani purified water was abandoned by its owner outside LAX airport security. The water bottle had nobly served only a few sips before joining the host of other 100 milliliter-plus liquids willingly cast aside in a predetermined bin. This partially-drank Dasani is just one of hundreds of Poland Springs, Fijis, and Aquafinas that only live to give a few ounces of life before being utterly disregarded. Though their desertion is compliant with TSA regulations, many have stressed the avoidability of their premature demise. At press time, a lucky Nestlé Pure Life was fully chugged before being let go.