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Swag

Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site

May 20, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

Dear Julio Frenk, UCLA has been under a lot of controversy lately. The encampments and the mob attack on them, the cops everywhere, deportations, budget […]

Report: Someone Broke Into My Dorm And Left All This Bong Smoke Here

May 19, 2025 Tucker Park 0

WESTWOOD — Unease settled over the Hill last night as UCLA Housing warned of a mysterious break-in which left one student’s dorm filled with a […]

It’s True! The Dumbest Man You’ve Ever Met Has Started A Substack

May 18, 2025 Jules Francis 0

WESTWOOD — Standing at a handsome 5-foot-6, known idiot, failed Biz Econ major, and your sophomore-year Hinge match Brayden Johnson has decided to start a […]

Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve

May 12, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

1. De Neve is already De Nasty. Let’s be real here. Out of the three main dining halls, which would be the least bad to […]

Five Stupid Little Trinkets To Give Your Mom Instead Of Grandchildren

May 11, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

1. Card Pick up the last Mother’s Day card (conveniently located next to the “#1 Grandma” cards) and don’t even sign your name inside. She’s […]

Opinion: He/Him Is Gender Neutral

May 6, 2025 David Doutman 0

Hey guys. A lot of guys seem to be getting mad at me for using he/him pronouns even when referring to guys who aren’t guys. […]

Julio Frenk Takes “Fuck the Police” Seriously, Last Seen Naked In Royce Hall

May 5, 2025 Funny Marcus 0

WESTWOOD — After a recent protest marched up to Murphy Hall, home of the office of the chancellor, Julio Frenk decided to hear out the […]

“Counting To 10” And Other Woke Ideologies Sesame Street Is Using To Indoctrinate Your Kids

May 2, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

Well, it’s official: President Trump has signed an executive order cutting funding to PBS. And thank the canonically white God, because the hit kids’ show […]

Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

April 28, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

Heartbreaking! Invisible Lesbian Unable To Celebrate Lesbian Visibility Week

April 26, 2025 Bibinaz Nami 0

WESTWOOD — After attempting to participate in the LGBTQ Campus Resource Center’s event for Lesbian Visibility Week, one lesbian was deeply disappointed by the center’s […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 7 »
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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