Alternative Club Throws “Groundbreaking” Event That Breaks No New Ground
WESTWOOD — Tonight, one campus alternative club will host a parking lot rave that will break boundaries by having the same exact attractions as last […]
Swag
Cinematic: Woman Spends Movie Runtime Drafting Her Letterboxd Review
LOS ANGELES — Last night, one woman decided to unwind with a new movie by spending the entire runtime drafting her Letterboxd review. “I take […]
Roommate Taking Too Long To Read “Atomic Habits” Explodes
WESTWOOD – A second-year detonated late Monday night after spending eight agonizing months trying to finish James Clear’s “Atomic Habits.” “They bought it Week 0 […]
Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager
WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]
Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
Dear Julio Frenk, UCLA has been under a lot of controversy lately. The encampments and the mob attack on them, the cops everywhere, deportations, budget […]
Report: Someone Broke Into My Dorm And Left All This Bong Smoke Here
WESTWOOD — Unease settled over the Hill last night as UCLA Housing warned of a mysterious break-in which left one student’s dorm filled with a […]
It’s True! The Dumbest Man You’ve Ever Met Has Started A Substack
WESTWOOD — Standing at a handsome 5-foot-6, known idiot, failed Biz Econ major, and your sophomore-year Hinge match Brayden Johnson has decided to start a […]
Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
1. De Neve is already De Nasty. Let’s be real here. Out of the three main dining halls, which would be the least bad to […]
Five Stupid Little Trinkets To Give Your Mom Instead Of Grandchildren
1. Card Pick up the last Mother’s Day card (conveniently located next to the “#1 Grandma” cards) and don’t even sign your name inside. She’s […]
Opinion: He/Him Is Gender Neutral
Hey guys. A lot of guys seem to be getting mad at me for using he/him pronouns even when referring to guys who aren’t guys. […]