Opinion: How Bringing My Copy Of “Ready Player Two” With Me To The Dining Hall Helped Me Get Laid
Like many UCLA students, I had hoped to experience my first romance at this fine institution, but as an oft-ignored fellow, that moment seemed like […]
Opinion
Opinion: USC Students Are Dumb Poopyheads
People make many arguments as to why UCLA is better than USC, or vice versa. Some people say UCLA has a higher academic ranking. Others […]
Opinion: Maybe We Don’t Need The Environment
Last night’s rally had me praying no SC kids were spying on us on campus, because I was embarrassed by how SNOWFLAKE we looked. I […]
Opinion: If The Westwood Enabler Has 2000 Followers, Why Aren’t 2000 People Liking My Article?
Fake news. Misinformation. Deceit. These aren’t just words I searched up on Google to make me look smart. They also represent real issues I have […]
From “Ick” To “Sick”: The Guy You Were Planning On Ghosting Just Gave You Chlamydia
WESTWOOD — Second-year communications major and amateur juggler Mike Rowe Dong is reported to have given you chlamydia after a night of passionless sex. Your […]
Opinion: Midterm Exams This, Midterm Elections That, I Just Wanna Grill For Godsakes!
Every so often the two most mid (as the kids say) things alive, exams and elections, somehow line up in November. People start freaking out […]
Opinion: I Don’t Need A Halloween Costume If I’ve Never Truly Been Myself
I love October. Changing leaves on every tree, pumpkins on every stoop, and Trader Joe’s butternut squash mac and cheese in every student’s freezer. But […]
Punching Down: Short King Victims Speak Out
WESTWOOD — The tempers of Short Kings everywhere are at an all time medium today, as recent instances of vertically-motivated violence have given a much […]
Opinion: The Westwood Enabler Will Never Be UCLAFits
WESTWOOD — Picture this: you’re a cool UCLA undergraduate, class of 2023. You’re bored. You open Instagram in search of entertainment. Do you go to […]
Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend
Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]